February 4, 2012
Reasons Children Get Angry
by Shari Steelsmith
(Originally published on June 28, 2008)
Tip—Unsatisfied basic needs can lead to anger.
A child’s anger can be fueled by many separate things. In general, however, there are three main influences on a child: his development, his family, and his broader environment. All of these are interrelated, because what happens in one area impacts each of the others. Therapists Jennifer Brown and Pam Provonsha Hopkins, authors of What Angry Kids Need: Parenting Your Angry Child Without Going Mad, comment that sometimes the most overlooked explanations for angry outbursts are simply unmet basic needs.
Coming fast on the heels of basic needs are health issues and your child’s various development issues and temperament traits. All of these areas definitely contribute to the reasons your child might get angry.
Tools—Brown and Hopkins recommends looking at the following areas to identify possible reasons behind your child’s patterns of anger.
Unmet basic needs. Is your child hungry? Tired? Coming down with something? Been too-long confined in a carseat or indoors? Often the hallmark of a child whose basic needs require tending is his total lack of reason and control. Parents sometimes are too busy to notice the warning signs and then ten minutes into a raging tantrum realize that it’s 1:30pm and little Carter hasn’t yet had his lunch. Or, after two hours in the car, a hostile fight breaks out between your four year old and her seven-year-old brother. “Before you dig for deep meaning in your child’s behavior, consider the possibility that tending to basic needs may solve the problem,” advises Brown and Hopkins.
Health issues. There are many medical-issues whose symptoms may cause moodiness, irritability, decreased impulse control, or lowered frustration tolerance. For example, a child who is hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) may appear irrational and irritable. A child with food sensitivities may appear to suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder and anger issues. Both of these examples can be treated with diet and meal schedule changes. It is important to rule out other medical conditions that may be causing the angry behavior.
Development and Temperament. Brown and Hopkins say that every child comes into the world genetically predisposed to certain ways of developing and responding to the world around her. Many parents refer to this as how their child is “wired.” Part of your child’s wiring are her development, any neurological disorders she may have, and her unique temperament. Any conditions, such as ADD/ADHD, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Pervasive Developmental Delays (Autism, Asperger’s), or language delays, can affect your child’s ability to manage and express anger appropriately. Lesser challenges, such as sensory problems (highly sensitive to stimuli like sounds or sights or touch) or simply a very challenging, spirited temperament, also fall on this spectrum and can affect how a child experiences anger.
You’ll find more practical tips you can use right now in What Angry Kids Need: Parenting Your Angry Child Without Going Mad by Jennifer Anne Brown, M.S.W. and Pam Provonsha Hopkins, M.S.W.
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