TIP - To avoid repeated embarrassment, listen to your child's questions.

TOOL - Answer your child's question right away.

Say, for instance, you are at a restaurant. If your young child asks why that man is blue or black or brown or whatever in a roaring loud voice heard by everyone in the county, not to mention the blue, black, or brown man, you need to answer right away. It's difficult, but be brave!! You can handle it with a little forethought.

Consider that:

• If you do not answer right away, your child will ask again until you do. (You know it's true.)
• If you put him/her off, you may convey that there is something bad or wrong with being blue or black or brown, and you are trying to cover it up.
• The blue, black, or brown person most certainly heard the question and is waiting for your response.

You might want to practice answering questions in non-public situations before the need arises. It is much easier to formulate answers under those circumstances. To get you going, read the explanations for common questions in Why Does that Man Have Such a BIG NOSE? or try one of these ways to start almost any answer:

1. I do not know why, but I do know all people are different . . .
2. Look at your skin (or whatever). What color is it? Do you know why it is that color? Maybe you take after your mom or your dad or . . .
3. It's hard to know why people look different. If we were all the same, it could be a little confusing.
4. We all look different from each other. Some people have . . .
5. I'm glad you notice differences. Now we have the chance to talk about how each person is special.

You’ll find more practical tips you can use right now in Why Does that Man Have Such a BIG NOSE? by Mary Beth Quinsey.

E-mail this page to a friend